In life it is essential we understand who we are before we attempt to understand others because satisfaction comes from within and not from outside of ourselves.
If I don’t value my contribution to my company how can I fault them for not appreciating me or valuing me?
I have seen it happen time and time again where truly talented people sabotage their careers by constantly seeking praise and reassurance and they become a disruptive force by forcing such interaction. Believe me, if a company has an issue or problem with your performance they will be the first to know…and they will not keep it a secret.
They also notice when you are doing a good job…or a great job!It is not their responsibility to heap praise on you at every opportunity just because it would make you happy…nor do they want to stop their collective jobs to cater to the whims of someone issuing an ultimatum…”praise me, appreciate me or you will be sorry”
We have all seen the behavior of the malcontented employee who becomes disruptive when he feels unappreciated…or worse yet..Disrespected.
We are professionals and are expected to act as such…we do not go by the code of the street or the county jail…we work at a job that pays us to perform a service and in return we are compensated with salary and sometimes benefits. It is not a playground or a schoolyard where people can demand respect…or take by force or with threats. Respect is earned…not forcibly removed.
When I am happy I know it is because I have either created conditions for myself to be happy…or I have lessened pressure and stress by making the necessary adjustments.
I call this…”wearing my big boy pants” don’t laugh..it is true!How many times have we seen people pout and act like a child because of some imaginary problem…and then they work at half strength because they figured they are not getting compensated properly…and they decide if they are only getting paid a little..they will, in turn…only work a little.
Children don’t keep jobs…adults do.
My favorite example is the employee that takes a mental holiday in order to “take care of themselves” and is secretly hoping that the message that they earned time off for good behavior is acknowledged. They can be excessive in taking time off…if they think they are not getting a fair shake and only getting paid 4 days a week’s worth..sure enough..they will be determined to arbitrarily take that 5th day off..with or without permission.I knew one salesman who was a star producer and created a lot of activity for his company…he was street smart and people smart…but knew very little about how a company runs a business…Example:
When you sell a product or service you “book” business…it is an agreement but nothing happens right away..it takes time to ship to the customer…and invoice them…and collect payment. All in all it can take up to a month or more to complete the process and a wise company will wait to collect from the customer before paying the commission to the salesperson.
This guy worked for over a decade at that company and every couple of months he would go on a drinking spree and phone in his resignation until the sales order (if it were large enough) he executed was paid in full.
The company knew it could never reason with him and at times they would give him a partial advance to keep him happy. It was no surprise that other people started to do this and before you know it there were several people with their hand out.
The moral of the story is to derive satisfaction from within…if not, you will never be satisfied with much of anything people try to do for you!
