Why would I wish such a thing on someone when we should be thinking of ways to support one another in our collective careers and/or job search?
Isn’t there enough discord in life without encouraging more?I will explain what I mean in a moment but for now let’s just say I have taken this approach to heart because it was only through the deepest and darkest times that I learned to stop resisting.
In my experience I have suffered disappointments because that is life but what appears to be a more painful process is when you are stuck in the middle of nowhere with no idea how to proceed with the next step. It is during those times that we have a painful event happen…something that threatens our well being and security…and frequently it is a loss…or a series of losses.
These losses become memories someday and we regard them as part of the building blocks of change.
Have you ever made a change that was rooted in happiness?
Or…joyfully let go of something that was useful?
Well perhaps you have…and I applaud your well reasoned approach to making adjustments as you go through life…
But the rest of us have had failures and heartbreak and we collapsed during the most tragic times of our lives and it wasn’t until we looked back on it that we saw a true turning point and watched as we saw a rebuilding process that led to a stronger foundation than before.
Example:
I remember moving across country to accept a job with a huge company that promised big money and prestige…and season tickets to football games, expense account and a flexible schedule..all I had to do was do the same job I did for many years…just in another office and another city…for other people.
I was always excited to learn something new…that was never a problem…finding something that held my interest for more than a few years was my actual flaw.
I knew a lot about my job function and had a fairly good command of industry trends and was sought after by a few companies that wanted to expand their markets.
I gave little thought to anything other than my selfish and financial interest…or to the after effects of the people I would leave behind…if they had a hard time adjusting to my departure that was their problem…I thought I went as far as I could with the company and though they taught me everything I knew and they gave me a chance when nobody else would…it was time to say goodbye.
At the time I fancied myself as a mover and a shaker…and I needed a bigger company to use as my platform.
I set up the new job, had a home lined up and went across country….and got 10 miles away before I got into a huge car crash that involved 5 cars.
I was partially at fault as were the other drivers…I proceeded with my plans and though I was haunted by the consequences to come in the future I was still hopeful that the new adventure would offset the turmoil.
I was never the same after that…I was haunted by my recklessness though I never admitted it…I lost my aggressiveness and my confidence but all outward appearances showed a cocky smooth talker…
After a couple of years of below standard performance I was discharged …I was forced to deal with my problems…I had no choice…no amount of barroom activity or socializing was enough to cover up the wound of my guilt and shame.
I sat in that misery and suffered a thousand times until one day I was tired of hurting…
The cracks in my heart showed and finally the sunshine came through and I saw I needed to let the suffering happen until I was finished…I had an epiphany…that in life one must deal with suffering and the longer you cover it up the longer it takes to heal…
Life changed rapidly after that and I don’t fear what I used to..when problems come I respect the power they have and I fully understand that there is a lesson there. Stuck in job written by Ken Bownes
